I've been thinking a lot lately about how there's always people in your life that are trying to change you. I'm sure you're thinking that you could never be one of those people that tries to change someone else, but regardless of how you feel about it there is someone that on some level you want to help to make them a better person. Now there is a big difference in wanting to help someone in an area that it's obvious they need help in, but do us all a favor and keep your "opinions" to yourself.

      Now there is a big difference if you are the person trying to change someone or if you're the person getting stuff thrown in your face about "not being all that you should be" or "being a disappointment." Yeah because we all dream of making you proud... pssshhhh.... yeah right. Now I'll admit I have both. I always want to help people. I try my best to help people where they're at, but I try my best not to judge them no matter what because after all. It is their life. I just try to steer them in the right direction. If they choose not to heed my advice that is entirely up to them. I also have the people that try desperately to change me into someone I'm not and would never care to be. So I can see it from both sides. On the one hand you try so hard to get someone to see where they can better themselves and then on the other hand I see how annoying it is when someone is trying so desperately to change you into something you aren't.

      I mean think about it from the other person's point of view.... When you break your back pushing someone into a mold that just doesn't fit, you're basiclly telling them that they aren't good enough for you and that you have to be something you're not in order to gain respect and be accepted. Well I must say....I'd rather be an outcast and never gain true acceptance than be something I'm not. I'm sorry if I'm not everything YOU wanted, but I'm gonna be who I am. I mean sure if I was doing something against the law or something against God... That would be a different story. I think I've been raised about as good as anyone can ask for, but that doesn't mean that I'm perfect. I can't be who you want me to be.

       Why can't I be accepted for who I am? Why must I be something I'm not in order to gain your love. Let me say something with the utmost bluntness.....if you can't accept me for who I am than I really don't care about your acceptance. If I need to be someone else to be loved by you than is that truly me being loved at all? Tell me I need to be someone else in order to be loved? Really? That isn't loving me....that's loving someone else's personality in my body. I want to be loved for who I am. I don't want to be shoved in a mold I'll never fit in. Why can't I be loved even though I may not have the same opinion as you? hmmm? You tell me. I mean if I'm not doing anything that is like anti God and stuff and I'm not flaunting were I'm different than why can't we just differ in opinion? I mean the whole world is not going to be the same. The fact is....I'm way different than most people. I'm quirky and a bit strange sometimes. It's who I am. I'm zany. I can't help it. I know it's how God made me because that's how I've been my whole life. I don't remember a time that I "fit in" with everyone else. I've embarrassed my siblings too many times to count. I don't know what to do about it though. I mean I'm not gonna change who I am.

        The thing is..... no one is worth changing who you are. I think that someone has to love you for who you are or not at all. I mean sure there's always stuff that people don't like about each other, but if it bothers you and you can't be around each other without it coming up than you don't truly love the person. People need to realize that it's okay to be different. So I guess all I'm saying is that life is too short to spend it trying to change each other. All you can do is love people in spite of their quirks and mistakes that they've made. So what I say is just.....embrace the differences in the people you care about, don't try to change them. Like I said unless the difference is harmful for them. Then it is your duty to tell them.

Love hard and hold on tight to the people you care about. Life is too short to not tell them how much they mean to you. I have friends that I couldn't live without and I tell them so. Please take this challenge... This week I want you to pick someone that means a lot to you and tell them how much they mean to you. Don't be afraid to love hard and give your whole heart to a relationship. No matter the type of relationship. Family, significant other, or just friendship.

----PEACE

Well I haven't been on here in forever. I've made some good friends off xanga. It brings back so many memories just being on here. I thought I'd just post a little something for you all.

When I get up in the morning I only have a little bit of time to get ready before I have to be to work. So then once I get to work I kind of lose track of time and go about doing my routine at work. That may sound easy, but routine for 10-15 toddlers (a.k.a. walking infants) is never easy. It can get very complicated very fast. I never have time for anything it seems. I can't hang with friends or anything fun at all.

Then I come home and I relax for a while. Then usually I try to get a hold of one of my friends. Which of course never works out. No one is ever available to sit and talk. I feel like my friends are all drifting away from me now that I have a job. It's really sad. I don't like the feeling. I can't call my friends because they don't answer and I can't even chat with them on facebook because they either aren't on or are busy. Am I losing my mind or are all my friends not available anymore? It used to be we talked all the time and now it seems no one has the time for conversation. I'm becoming a loner and that isn't good for my personality. It's way too stifling. What else can I do by myself? Any suggestions? I feel like a loser that I don't have anything to do, but it seems like there's no time for anything but work because I get so tired that I can't enjoy much of movies or TV. I end up falling asleep. I think that the most important thing in life is relationships with people. I want to have friends that count on me and that even I myself can count on when I need someone to talk to. I've always hoped that people thought of me as a good listener. I never want someone to be able to say, "Oh she never had time for me" or "I was never important enough to her for her to take the time to listen to me." I need a hobby that doesn't involve too much time. That way at least I'd have something to do at night.

Any suggestions would be helpful!!! plus I'm curious what you all think...